I laid waste to one of these I think. Poor guy didn't see me coming.

I was heading in from lunch today after an expensive trip to the fitting store. Who knew locktite cost so much. I've been having a lot of trouble getting more expensive cars to race. I'd do a quick fly by or BOV to try to get thier attention. I've even resorted to back handed compliments to get a response. So when I saw the white Porsche, I knew I had to be down right obnoxious.

I'm cruising up behind them and I'm trying to pick a good spot in traffic so I can catch up and get them. Stupid minivans! With the skill of a surgeon I cut through traffic like it was the skin of a patient. Not to fast. Not to loud. Almost stealth like if it wasn't for a three inch exhaust and a annoying BOV.

Finally I catch a break and I get clear road beside him. He's not paying attention. I know this cause I see him flirting with the girl the lane beside him. I don't know if she's knows him or not, but we all know girls don't like boys, they like cars and money. I pass him with one foot on the clutch and the other pinned to the throttle. If this doesn't catch his attention, I'll break out my old crank and club him over the head with it.

He jumps. I mean he jumps. I think his head hit the headliner of his car. I break for traffic. As the girl is approaching on my left she break for traffic to. The white Porsche has to stop a few cars back. "You think you can beat that Porsche" I hear the girl shout. I reply with "I'm in front of it, aren't I?". I sink a little into my seat. Dumbass, is that the most charismatic, witty thing you can say on the spot? Apparently it was

Traffic starts flowing again and I deliberately go slow for the white Porsche to come side by side. Eventually traffic clears up and he comes by. I don't think he wants to race. Getting these high end cars to race is akin to getting a famous person to date you. My luck is going to change. I can feel it. If he races, I'm going to put more effort in to getting Lindsay Lohan to go out with me.

I drop to 2nd and I make sure to rev match it. Just so he won't see the car dip. As soon as he's by me he opens the throttle. As I understand, these Porsches have a sweet exhaust note. A pity I can't hear it over my exhaust. I lay into it to.

I see his wing extend. I think I'm doing 90 km right now, so I change gears. I'm pulling on him. I'm up to his door now. His passenger is looking over at me. I can see the whites of his eyes. What hell am I doing I should be paying attention to the road!

I'm at the top 3rd and I'm letting it wind up to 7000 RPM before I change gears. I keep my foot planted and press the clutch in while reach for fourth. I think this was the smoothest shift I've ever done. Do drop in engine power, just torque. By this time I'm 2 or so car lengths ahead of him. I think I should claim his lane just to make sure he doesn't do the fly by, but I'm sure he's embarrassed enough as it is.

He passes me and I give him a thumbs up and he does the same. He heads off into the sunset to continue his playboy life style. I head back to work to tell everyone on the internet. I guess you never truly lose with a Porsche. But I beat one and I don't think there is anything that can wipe this **** eating grin off my face.

Best War Story EVER!

Great kill Waldo!!!

Nice kill, gotta love it when you beat one of those "over compensating" douche bag Porsche drivers ), 911, Turbo, GT3, Carrera, Carrera S etc. As there is quite a big difference in Hp even thought they basically look the same.

I know it wasn't a turbo. It said Carrera on the back so I assume it was one. It was from the 997 family, but it could have been S. It had an extendable wing which look quite cool as it was deploying. It was also lowered I think. I don't think I would have been able to fit a finger in between the wheel and wheel arch.

hehe finger a porsche.

After reading your post now I have a smile. I belive that anything is possible. I might just ask out Pamela Anderson.

Yea who knows johney maybe you can be in her next video

Yeah the new 997S are non-turbo 3.8L make 350 at the crank with a nice torque curve.

If it was the base 3.6L though not much of a challenge it is 321hp which I hope most of you guys could take care of.

That was a premo story! LOL

haha nice, Well writen. Thats the way these stories should be writen, with some excitement and detail!

Anyone Remeber or have a copy of that DSM war story that was on here a few years ago about the guy who threw the wrench at the gangstas escalde and they chased him all over the state with Bent 20's... that story was well writen, Waldo just made me think of it.

Great story!

Did you get the girl's number that he was flirting with?

awesome story!!

i hate racing expensive cars, i ran into a CL55 AMG the other day, i think it was that one, you know the 2door ones which look like they have a HUGE ****en window, well this guy launchs on me, from a light, i wasnt even gonna race him cause i didnt wanna waste my fuel on him, anyway with him a few cars ahead already i pin it and fly by him, he pulls up to the next light i told him not to try that again unless he wants to make himself look like a bigger fool for racing mommies car (he looked 16) and he just rubbed his index finger and his thumb together.........

You didnt want to waste your gas on a 493 hp vehicle? I guess the MB SLR is more in your class then?

Punk kid or not, that was one of the few chances you would get to run a car like that and you wasted it. What do you drive again?