I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
#236253
July 06, 2007 11:52 pm UTC
July 06, 2007 11:52 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Kenrick Miller]
#236257
July 07, 2007 12:31 am UTC
July 07, 2007 12:31 am UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Kenrick Miller]
#236268
July 07, 2007 02:11 am UTC
July 07, 2007 02:11 am UTC
|
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 153 Casselman
Pascal Perreault
Regular Member
|
Regular Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 153
Casselman
|
When Chuck Norris falls into the ocean, he doesn't get wet. The ocean gets Chuck Norrised.
91 TSi AWD
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Tyler Cohen]
#236318
July 07, 2007 06:48 pm UTC
July 07, 2007 06:48 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
When you mention the Virgin Mary to Chuck Norris, he simply laughs and mutters... "Virgin... " Mr T pitty's the fool, Chuck Norris beats the fools head in. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds, walk and Kill. Think of a hot woman, Chuck Norris did her...
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Ryan Laliberte]
#236329
July 07, 2007 11:32 pm UTC
July 07, 2007 11:32 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,447 Onurmomstitties
Mike Jackson
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
|
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,447
Onurmomstitties
|
Chuck Norris likes married women. If you are married Chuck Norris has slept with your wife.
1998 AWD 12.1@122 421whp -SOLD Duck Dodgers = EPIC FAILZ!
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Mike Jackson]
#236379
July 09, 2007 04:32 am UTC
July 09, 2007 04:32 am UTC
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 342 Ingersoll
Tom George
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 342
Ingersoll
|
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
'97 Black TSi AWD
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Tom George]
#236380
July 09, 2007 05:18 am UTC
July 09, 2007 05:18 am UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
Police have listed an attack on Chuck Norris as a code 43-11... suicide.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, he's not gay, just out of women.
On a scale of 1-10, Chuck Norris kicks ass.
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Ryan Laliberte]
#236387
July 09, 2007 12:53 pm UTC
July 09, 2007 12:53 pm UTC
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 342 Ingersoll
Tom George
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 342
Ingersoll
|
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.
'97 Black TSi AWD
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Nicholas Ricci]
#236420
July 09, 2007 07:31 pm UTC
July 09, 2007 07:31 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 478 Kitchener
Michael Certain
Serious Member
|
Serious Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 478
Kitchener
|
Did he really say all this? Haven't found any on google.
N Google "Top 100 Chuck Norris" Top 100 List My favourites: Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the frack Chuck Norris is. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The moment a turbo spools, all your dreams are made possible.
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Michael Certain]
#236423
July 09, 2007 07:44 pm UTC
July 09, 2007 07:44 pm UTC
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 488 Mississauga, Ontario
Nicholas Ricci
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 488
Mississauga, Ontario
|
WHOZ DIZ WANKER! On a serious note...kinda feel wierd seeing how old my childhood heros have become.
*New with some general experience* Take advice at your own risk!
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Nicholas Ricci]
#236431
July 09, 2007 09:03 pm UTC
July 09, 2007 09:03 pm UTC
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,987 Mississauga, Ont
Jerry Rose
Insane Member
|
Insane Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,987
Mississauga, Ont
|
Bruce Lee did not die of unknown causes. He died of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris would smite you where you stand, but he's currently preoccupied completing a solar-system-roundhouse-kick for Nasa to collect dust particles. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. SPACE exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. Not sure what to make of this though
Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Jerry Rose]
#236435
July 09, 2007 09:44 pm UTC
July 09, 2007 09:44 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he declines the syringe and asks for a handgun and a bucket.
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Ryan Laliberte]
#242619
September 19, 2007 01:57 am UTC
September 19, 2007 01:57 am UTC
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 707 ON
Bradley Woodward
Serious Member
|
Serious Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 707
ON
|
Chuck Norris can multiply any two numbers together and the answer is always one...one round house kick to the face.
BOOST...Boo-Yah
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Rob Strelecki]
#254823
January 30, 2008 02:56 am UTC
January 30, 2008 02:56 am UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 59 Windsor
Luke MacInnes
Regular Member
|
Regular Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 59
Windsor
|
In Jurassic Park, while the people were running from the T-Rex, the T-Rex was running from Chuck Norris. Nice Rob! LOL
Dad - When do I get to drive the beast...
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Rob Strelecki]
#360833
September 09, 2011 09:03 pm UTC
September 09, 2011 09:03 pm UTC
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749 Belleville, Ontario
Ryan Laliberte
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
|
OP
No-Lift-To-Shift.... Stock. :)
Senior Member, with Far TOO Much Time on Their Hands
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,749
Belleville, Ontario
|
The first Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick is over 14 billion years old. Scientists call it "The Big Bang"
AWDAuto 1996 TSi AWD Automagic12.24 @ 113 - Small 16G FP Green HTA - 11.42/123 Team Pump Gas and Meth RTMRacing - Your Canadian source for DSM Parts "Every moment you live is pregnant with the next moment of your life" --Jim CarreyLast Login: September 28, 2021
|
|
|
Re: I'm bored.. Chuck Norris quotes
[Re: Garrett Logan]
#361125
September 14, 2011 03:50 pm UTC
September 14, 2011 03:50 pm UTC
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 984 Woodbridge, Ontario, Canada
Michael Zeppieri
Serious Member
|
Serious Member
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 984
Woodbridge, Ontario, Canada
|
Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to with his blood line. He ate an Indian... and a Jeep.
There is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just really hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris made the Grand Canyon as a grave for all his victims.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
2004 BMW M3 SMG Convertible
|
|
|
|
|