Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper. Only problem was, it wouldn't take sh!t from anybody.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there is no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up. He is actually pushing the world down.